November 23rd, 1861

Today was a gloomy day. It rained most the day and it was very windy and chilly outside. The wind was blowing rain everywhere. Including that it was very foggy out. Emma and I stayed inside the house and relaxed. I knitted a blanket and Emma played with her dolls. I wonder where Samuel is this exact moment. In a battle, enjoying the day or even thinking about Emma and I? It has been almost 4 months since Samuel has left. I can't wait until the day I see an officer at our door once again sending news that Samuel will be drafted to come back home. I miss him so much. I know Emma does too, even though she doesn't show how she feels about everything that has happening. I think she's too shocked about having her father leave to wonder and worry about everything going on.

Days are hectic and long, with many things on my mind. I often awake in the middle of the night having nightmares like Emma had a few weeks ago. I dream about Samuel getting injured or shot down by another soldier. It hurts to know that this may happen. But everything happens for a reason. God wouldn't put you in a situation if he couldn't get you out of it. The happiest people don't have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything they have. Which is what I try to do, and stay strong for Emma. She knows that if she doesn't see me worrying about anything everything should be alright, because she knows I tend to worry easily. All we can do is pray and wish for the best for all the soldiers.