July 27th, 1861

I sit outside my porch, drinking hot tea as Emma plays with her porcelain doll. She brushes her dolls hair, so focused, yet lost in her thoughts. I could tell Emma had thoughts hovering around in her head by the lost look in her eyes. Emma is my 11 year old daughter. She has blonde hair, blue eyes and pale skin. She looks more like her dad than me, who has the bluest eyes you may ever see.

I wonder how much older Emma will be before her father gets to see her again. The hardest thing for a parent to do is leave their family and children behind. I miss Samuel so much. I miss having our family together, whole. Emma and I are so sad we do not have the man in the house watching over us anymore. I can't wait until he comes back home for everything to be back to normal. Our live is so lonesome without our hero here with us.

The ones you love can be with you for so long, then be gone in the blink of an eye. It tears me too be living as a half and not a whole, without Samuel. My father use to tell me how you should never take anything for granted. You have to be thankful for every little thing God blessed you with because you don't know how much longer you may be able to hold onto them. Live and love your life like there's no tomorrow, because there really may be, no tomorrow.